This was the easier bit of the census to fill out for me. It’s an acceptance that it’s ok to be constantly on that journey and moving rather than settle on something solid. It’s something that matches the constant journey that I’m on. I think I finally found something that felt comfortable. The dictionary describes Gender Fluid as “ Denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.“ Margo suggested I try the term Gender Fluid for size. I often giggle about the fact that when I see beautiful powerful women, I’m caught in the dilemma of “Do I want to snog her, or do I just want to be her”? I’m rarely sure, and I think that question often defines my relationship to sexuality and gender. And it’s my personal femininity, not an impersonation of someone else. I never feel like a ‘guy in a wig’, if I’m Robyn, then I’m embodying all of my femininity. On the gender spectrum, I’m more often nearer the male end, but when I’m female, I run right over to the other end. Whereas I think I bounce from one end to the other only occasionally stepping in the middle. I feel, that to me, it implies landing in some sort of androgynous space along the gender spectrum. We both lamented about our frustrations with the straight jacket of ‘drag’, and our journey’s through gender.įor me, I’ve always felt the term non-binary didn’t really fit me, nor do They/Them pronouns. Margo is an utter queer icon, and dances around the gender spectrum with panache. They’re non-binary and talked through a load of this with me. I went for a walk the other day with my gorgeous friend Margo Marshall. Like I said, its all quite complicated and confusing. As in (female) Robyn with a (male) Y chromosome. But to me it also represents the y chromosome that I have in me. At simplest it’s just the replacement of the ‘i’ in my boy name to turn it female. My drag name is Robyn Withawhy as in Robyn With A ‘Y’. Calling it drag, feels more like putting on a costume, but for me it feels more like taking one off. With the rise of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the very narrow version of drag that it often presents, ‘drag’ feels an ever more uncomfortable jacket to wear. I don’t do over the top Trixie Mattel style drag, it’s much more about allowing my femme self to shine through. ![]() Realistically to me, it’s the female version of myself that I’m embodying. But honestly that’s too simplistic, Robyn isn’t a performance, and I’m as likely to be presenting as Robyn whether I’m being paid as a Drag Queen or not. I call femme Robyn “a drag queen”, because that’s probably the easiest short cut way of describing it to the most people. I’ve thought about whether I’d want to transition to being Robyn, but don’t because I also love being boy Robin the jazzy suit wearing, skater boy too. My queer family use both male and female pronouns for me and that feels completely comfortable and right. My ‘real’ name is Robin, but to a huge chunk of my friends, I’m often Robyn and presenting female. Although my team all know I also work in drag (I’ve even given staff makeup tutorials) and I never hide my queerness. For example in my day job, I present pretty much 100% as a boy. ![]() I present differently depending on who I’m talking with and what the situation is. As with a lot of people, gender and sexuality is often confusing to me.
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